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Giving Yourself Grace with Grief

Beth Hlas, Intern School Based Therapist

Loss is a part of life that is inevitable and when it comes to processing that loss, it affects us all differently so there is no universal way to begin to move on. Grief also comes in many forms such as death of a loved one or pet as well as a breakup or a child moving to college. Some may find that going about their normal routine is the best while others find taking a break from the world is what is needed. While it may become difficult not to be hard on yourself or to compare your grief process to others, allowing yourself some grace can help you in the process.

Hayley (2017) suggests taking your time and allowing whatever feelings that come up to arise when and how they do. You may experience many different emotions such as:

  • Feel like you are "going crazy"

  • Have difficulty concentrating

  • Feel sad or depressed

  • Irritability or anger (at the deceased, oneself, others, higher powers)

  • Experience anxiety, nervousness, or fearfulness

  • Feel like you want to "escape"

  • Experience guilt or remorse

Remembering that grief can come and go as well as “sneak up” on you when least expected can help prepare you for the days, months, and years ahead. Many forms of grief never end, so being patient with yourself as well as the grieving process and allowing yourself to allow any feelings can help to begin to create ongoing coping skills. (Hayley 2021)

Talking to a therapist or close supportive person in your life as well as attending a support group may help you move forward as you remain stuck in your grief. Stang (2021) offers many constructive ways you may find helpful to process grief:

  • Be Kind to Yourself

  • Get the Right Amount of Sleep

  • Get a Check-Up

  • Eat Healthy, Drink Water

  • Breathe Mindfully

  • Move Your Body

  • Connect with Others

  • Express and Create

  • Meditate

With that said, go ahead and eat that second piece of chocolate, take that afternoon nap, or walk that extra mile, if that is what you need for yourself care to begin to heal from grief.

Stang, H. (2020, April 19). The Dual Process Model of Grief: Navigating the Spiral. Retrieved on October 18,2021.

Hayley, E. (2017, March 23) The Grief Coaster: Understanding stress in grief. What’s Your Grief. Retrieved October 18,2021.

Hayley, E. (2021, October 7, 2021). Grief Never Ends and That’s Ok. Understanding Grief. What’s Your Grief. Retrieved October 18,2021.


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